So You've Decided to be Evil

Congratulations on being the creator of a new

Evil Plan (tm)!

Your objective is simple: Soul Accumulation.

Your motive is a little bit more complex: To show them all

Stage One

To begin your plan, you must first expose a rich and powerful ceo. This will cause the world to slaughter a sacred calf to appease the gods, unsettled by your arrival. Who is this unholy menace? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good in classic black?

Stage Two

Next, you must destroy the Internet. This will all be done from a underground secret headquarters of doom, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will spontaneously combust, as countless hordes of the undead hasten to do your every bidding.

Stage Three

Finally, you must send forth your unholy weapon, bringing about pain, suffering, the usual. Your name shall become synonymous with dear god no, and no man will ever again dare roll his or her eyes. Everyone will bow before your extraordinary charisma, and the world will have no choice but to whisper your name in fear.